Directive 000-002: Regarding “Tea Parties”

Coverage of any events yesterday should be light to nonexistant.

Despite it being the due date of Federal and State tax returns, no out-of-the-ordinary events took place.  Early rumors of civil protests (clearly led by Karl Rove and Glen Beck) turned out to be unfounded. At various locations around the nation, small groups of Right Wing Extremists attempted to agitate, but their efforts were futile. Coverage of said agitation is optional, and must strike a properly derisive tone.

President Obama, properly, took no notice of any such non-existant events.

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